0207. i often empathised with the more unfortunately friends of mine and wondered how it feels to be estranged from one's own parents. when a hairline crack in the kinship finally ripped itself apart into a chasm, i got slight a taste of that bitterness.
im angry. i wouldnt be if i wasnt accused of something i havent had done. im disappointed that my parents think i place them as lower priorities, especially my domineering mother who heads the household, and it often causes a lot of friction when i am assumed to not care at all.
when i do care, my efforts get blindsided, bashed, maimed and mauled then thrown out of the window.
ive reached a conclusion; my life is a dilemma. i can either continue to stay in this house and forever remain the son who never grew up or leave to live alone outside and become the son who never returned.
both ways, i lose those whom ive cared for before, those who never really did even feel it the slightest, those whose love for me totally overwhelmed my reciprocated affection.
yea, between the devil and the deep blue sea.
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