0503. how many of us can safely say we have lived our lives without regrets?

i think there's almost none. but why regret?

"in life, regret is only the school. experience is the true teacher."

regret teaches us nothing. rather, learn from the experience of making mistakes.

and then, move on. because life always goes on, always.

0107. i forgot to share a piece of news concerning my moving away from jurong to telok blangah... but i guess it's not news anymore now.

the flat i wish to move in is now available and the purchase has been confirmed. after all the drama of the flat ownership, lawsuits for proceeds etc.

however, since we did not take up any loans for purchase, hdb demands to know how and why.

wtf. shit ALWAYS happens.

murphy's law. screwing up everything possible since 1841!

0035. why do i love pandas?

hmm. partly because i kinda resemble one; their rotund shape, dark eye circles, general lack of motivation and abundance of sloth. and prolly cos they're cute? haha.

i love the pandas for being the symbolic beasts of gentleness and endearment. with their natural habitat being torn apart to manufacture disposable chopsticks and other wooden produce, their place to eat, sleep and mate are being eaten up by us faster than they can do so themselves (an adult panda can eat up to 20kg of bamboo shoots a day!).

and pandas make awesome parents, especially the mother. this is mainly due to their low birth and mortality rates as their cubs are often hunted by poachers with modern day human weaponry... something primitive fang and claw can never beat.

this is why before they die out, something very possible during our lifetime (there are only less than 1,600 pandas in the wild now!), i wish to visit their homeland at cheng du, sze chuan, china to see and hug them at least once in my life.

that'll happen prolly in 2011. looking forward to it!

0211. today was filled with ramen, first at baikohken, my favourite stall at raffles place, north canal road then later at bishamon, a friend's recommendation at raffles city shopping centre.

today's exploration (and my previous experiences) kinda deepened my interest in the art of appreciating this authentic japanese cuisine.

everything has to be done right for that perfect bowl of ramen; richness of broth, springiness of noodles, tenderness of the cha shu, combination of toppings like menma (fermented bamboo shoot), egg, corn, butter slab... yum.

some shops serve superb sides, grilled chashu and crispy fried gyoza. but all in all, the best ramen can only be decided by the bowl of noodles itself.

looking forward to having more ramen outings to come!

0328. i cant begin to describe how taxing my job is. really. but i pity my designer. losing sleep and time with your family over work? no matter what work, it's not worth it. if this is taxing for me, it must be a like swimming in quicksand for him.

luckily, even though it's tough, we still joke amidst working.

he said he's a penguin dad, my designer, like the 9pm mandarin drama serial; stay home father, looking after his kid while doing freelance design.

i said no, "with all the sleep you're giving up for work, you're now officially the panda dad."

although another week passing means my december deadlines creep even closer... i cant bear it anymore if i dont say this...

long weekend, hurry the FUCK up!

0332. i dont regret leaving my previous company, but going to my new company made me learnt that the fact most people leave their managers, not their jobs... is awfully true.

my boss isn't exactly unreliable. he's just rash and haphazard. short sighted too, if i might add. perhaps it's due to the recent big scale event that had just blew over, i dont know. but if this carries on, i sorry to say that he makes a worse boss than my previous one.

i have decided to give myself 3 more weeks (since it's already my first month and first week) to decide whether i would stay on after my 3 month probation. if i think it's not worthwhile staying on, i'll begin the job hunting process all over again.

you may think: wtf am i doing? new to the job and wanting hop already...

not sure if any of you noticed, but ive started to take work home and become gan chiong about work. i dont wish to call this "becoming responsible". i AM responsible. the boss is making me take responsibility for things i didnt quite start, randomly forcing ownership upon me. aiyo, how come like that?

frankly, im someone who has fighting spirit, but when given the wrong reasons to fight... i totally give up. i wanna fight for the right reasons, for the right person, for the right ideals and motivations. i dont want to be sacrificed for the greater good... for the reasons of pleasing your clients and fattening your pockets.

3 more weeks to find out if this company is worth it at all. 3 weeks is all i will give.

0149. remember the person who'd put a knife into your back because you're going to put two into his.

forgive. but never ever forget.