blankwithoutyou

2021. the flashing neon lights from the pub carelessly illuminated the whole section of shophouses in quick, flickering spasms as i exhaled the toxic smoke out of my lungs. the smog twirled and spun and blurred the buildings across the street ever so slightly.

what was i doing with my life? i looked at the burning stick of death and almost laughed at the idea that i was living on borrowed time. where did i get so much courage to even begin to throw my life away, bit by bit everyday, until my organs all rot off and die?

seriously, what was i doing with my life? everyone upstairs was gone from work. well, almost everyone, except me. though it really didnt matter if i were putting my all in my work or otherwise. nothing would change. im like the apple on the apple tree that wont make the tree less pretty if i fell to the ground.

at the age of 26, some people have achieved great things, driven posh cars, shot life changing films, saved many human/animal lives, made their first million or two, etc etc. as i took another puff, it became apparent that i wasnt one of these folks. not even close at all.

so even if i fell from the tree, im never gonna be the apple that hit newton on the head.