24.3.08

0259. ah, monday. ever so blue-ish than any other day of the week. it doesnt help with the long weekend slipping by like sliding ice cubes across a clean bar top where the bartenders dont mind you fiddling with the remnants inside your cup after you're done with your drink.

i have this systematic way, this well practiced, almost fool proof and safe approach to tackling the infamous game of mahjong. but over the years that ive been getting my hands dirty, they've never gotten lucky. a part of my weekend was spent lamenting this fact over and over while struggling with lousy tiles at one side of the table. the losing side, obviously.

losing seems to be what my only capability. but it's not like i wanna lose, i aint got much of a choice! luck, like love, pride and other intangible and grand notions concocted by poets and philosophers, eludes me as if it were a vampire hiding from the ubiquitous sunlight. i cant seem to find myself in situations or positions which i could proudly proclaim, "woot. LUCKY!"

putting the game of tiles aside, im inclined to agree that a large part of life hinges on luck, or having a respectable proportion of it against the various circumstances we face everyday. we all need certain degrees of biasness on the probability scales in different scenarios, dont we?

just somehow or rather, i feel that ive been left locked out in the blizzard when everyone else around me is invited to the banquets held inside the warm and cosy cathedral of lady luck.

damn that cold, cold snow.

one smile is all i request from you, oh goddess of fortune. is it that so hard to fulfill? why is it that you shine so brightly over those who're already made but not over folks who actually need that tiny stroke of luck?

why?

ps: hell yea, im one heck of a whiny bitch. so sue me!

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